There is nothing wrong with being alone, being single, and not wanting to be around others. Always being around people can weigh you down, especially if you are an empath and easily take on the energy of those around you.
You don’t need anyone to complete you or fill your cup. Being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee you happiness, love, or belonging. Matter of fact, sometimes it can bring you the exact opposite feeling.
Learn how to love being around your own company. I get that it can seem boring to be single or that it could be scary because you don’t know where your thoughts will take you. But you can’t be afraid of that…you can’t let fear or those “what if” thoughts stop you from learning how to be alone.
This includes those of you who are in relationships. Who are you without your partner? What makes you an individual without them around? Your relationship doesn’t have to define who you are. Take advantage of any opportunity you can to spend time alone and learn about what you like to do when you aren’t around others.
It’s so important to know who you are as an individual person and what brings you joy when you’re by yourself. Relying on others to bring you happiness and purpose in life is a rookie mistake, but a common one people make. Because when you rely on others you become dependent, and if that person decides to leave one day or something happens to them (which I deeply hope doesn’t happen but it’s the reality we live in), what will you do? Jump into the next relationship so you don’t have to think about it or feel the pain? Are you going to distract yourself by going out every single day with people who might not even really care about you?
What overall quality of life are you experiencing if it’s one where you are dependent on others? When you are dependent, your life is no longer up to you-at least there are parameters around it. You can be dependent and still find happiness and fulfillment in many ways, but there will always be limitations around it. At the end of the day, relying on others means you are letting someone else or something else determine your quality of life for you. But when you learn to love being around your own company, you have more control of your life. You get to decide what’s worth keeping or walking away from because ultimately you know that you will always be okay whether you are alone or not, and that you don’t have to settle.
And it’s okay to feel lonely sometimes-that’s literally a valid feeling! What’s not okay is letting that be the reason you can’t be alone or find things to do alone. Acknowledge those feelings when you have them, because they will come, but also know that they are just feelings and they will pass. Don’t let fear stop you. Period.
Start spending some alone time with yourself and make it a regular practice. This could be once a week, once per month, even every other-month. You can even do this every day if you want and are able to but just make it a regular practice to do things by yourself. And this isn’t just staying at home and watching TV alone-I’m challenging you to go out in public and take yourself out. Go for a walk, find a park and journal, go travel, literally anything that sounds fun to you! (Obviously use common sense and be careful whatever you do or wherever you go).
The point is, get yourself out there, learn something new about yourself, and enjoy your own company-it’s the best one you’ll ever have.
Photo by Jessica Favaro on Unsplash